I have put this off, blogging the "after". When you loose someone there is the "before" and there is the "after". On August 1, 2021 we lost John. Now we live in the "after". I think writing about our lives will be easier after this post because it will be all "after". With this post, however, I have to grapple with our lives, from both the "before" and "after". I will share pictures from both time periods that are happy, but the memories from the "after" carry with them a bittersweetness that will forever be with us.
I have finally found the energy, courage, inspiration , whatever it may be to post the pictures that capture the last few months. John played many roles to many people, but to me he was a father and a Papa. He was a great father in law and he was the gold standard for a Papa. The impact he had on our three kids is tremendous and the lessons he taught them will be with them forever. It is birthday season in the Aschermann household. Each year during this time I try and write about who they are, this year I can't help but see the traits in each one that is John.
Milo, The work ethic you have, you never give up, even when it is hard. This is something your Dad and I encourage, but Papa truly nurtured this trait. He coached you on the ice for years. He was hard on you because he knew you could take it and that you would need grit to move forward through your life. You told me the other day that every time you step on the ice you think of Papa. I hope that never goes away. Remember that the lessons Papa taught you in hockey are lessons just as important of the ice as they are on the ice.
Liesel, You were Papa's baby girl. You had him wrapped around your little finger. The light in his eyes when you rode was something I have never seen. I know that you have always loved horses, but I don't think that you would have the passion for ridding if it hadn't been for Papa. No matter what the weather was he would pick you up and take you to the stables. I believe that Papa wanted you to not only have the opportunity to enjoy horses, but he truly wanted you to learn how strong you are. By taking you riding he knew you would find out that you can control a 1500 pound animal. As you move through life remember the strength Papa showed you. You have always had it in you, but Papa made you see it.
Maddox, You are the baby of our family just like Papa was the baby of his family. You two are so much alike. You two would spend hours watching baseball snuggled up on Papa's chair together. I loved listening to you two. When the batter came up he would ask you "where's the play?". Then you two would discuss the options. He taught you to think ahead, to be thoughtful. Papa was thoughtful not just with making decisions, but also in regards to those around him. I have always known how much John did for his family, but what I found out after he passed was that this was who he was for his entire community. The number one compliment I get about Maddox is how thoughtful he is. The lesson of thoughtfulness wasn't a hard one for Papa to teach Maddox, it was one that the two of them just naturally shared.
The three of you are part of Papa's legacy. With your grit, strength, and thoughtfulness we will move through the "after" making more memories and never forgetting the "before".
It was a year. In July our dear friend Shannon Sharkey's fight with cancer ended. Mike, Shannon's husband shared with me a sentiment that has stuck with me. He expressed how thankful he was that he and Shannon "did the things". I too am forever grateful that we did the things, we had the Sunday dinners, we went on the vacations, and we took the pictures.
This summer we went down to Colorado Springs to ride the COG railroad. I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I did get this cute one of Maddox and Papa
In July we went to the Florida Keys and shared some incredible memories. I was good about taking pictures for this trip. Thank goodness!
